


Panis Mortuum

by Regency



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Because Sherlock would absolutely be a snob about his corpse bread., Ficlet, Gen, It's only shaped like people. It's not actually people, It's snacking not cannabalism, May be disturbing really no matter what.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-22
Updated: 2012-04-22
Packaged: 2017-11-04 03:56:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/389478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Regency/pseuds/Regency
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On a trip to Thailand for Mycroft, John picks up some fitting treats for Sherlock at the Body Bakery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Panis Mortuum

**Author's Note:**

> Because "Dead Bread" is not as catchy. (I have no doubt that Latin translation is sketchy, but if anyone knows the proper way to say it, I'll glady switch.) Written for a BBC kink meme prompt asking for Sherlock and corpse bread as found in a bakery in Thailand [here](http://inventorspot.com/articles/body_bread_13546)

John should have known that he was creating a monster with this one. He'd bought the bread on lark while doing a bit of side business with Mycroft in Thailand and had the elder Holmes fly it in for Sherlock's birthday. In the future, John would make sure to be a great deal warier of anything that made Mycroft smirk like that.  
  
But come on, it was ideal. Rich bread steeped with nuts and chocolate and raisins. Sherlock's sweet tooth seemed to be about his only tooth and John was only too happy to take advantage of that. That the bread just happened to be in the shape of disembodied heads and amputated limbs was a bonus John couldn't have dreamed of. Sherlock would undoubtedly be thrilled.  
  
He was. Of course, he was. But then, he was displeased.  
  
"The colouring is inaccurate. He should have used a paler shade for the lips. John, where did you get this? Any idiot with an internet connection should know that the nature of the decapitation would leave little blood circulating through the blood vessels of the head, thus resulting in a more severe pallor. Really, and you say this is popular? I suppose some people will buy anything." So appalled was Sherlock at what he decided was shoddy workmanship--of bread, no less--that he decided that he should re-create the confections himself, to his specifications.  
  
John was just glad that Sherlock was ingesting actual calories. Even if every horizontal surface of the flat was covered in flour for a month and John kept finding moldy bread in his jumpers for weeks after. Sherlock was not sulking, Sherlock was eating; John was happy and the internet traffic the baker had gotten from John's blogging of Sherlock's great perfectionist strop ensured that they could have free corpse bread for the rest of the their lives if they wanted.  
  
Not that Sherlock did by the end of things. In America, they had a saying about never letting it be known how one made laws or how one made sausage as both both were equally unsavory businesses. So was the baking and decking of corpse bread in Sherlock's estimation. Sourdough anatomically-correct hands littered the kitchen table and Mrs. Hudson likely had more disembodied rye heads than even a fetishist could claim to desire. Oddly enough, she didn't think it unsavory in the least. John never wanted for supplies for morning, noon, or midnight toast, and Sherlock could be provoked by his own morbid nature to nibble on a chocolate-chipped calve while updating his blog. The bread, both bought and baked, disappeared in time. It was all fine, really.   
  
Though, it did make that next 'routine drug bust' just a bit awkward.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any characters recognizable as being from Sherlock. They are the property of their actors, producers, writers, and studios, not me. No copyright infringement was intended and no money was made in the writing or distribution of this story. It was good, clean fun.


End file.
